Howie’s Hot Five for…16 October, 2009

5:  Glaswegian Translators wanted!

Translation company seeks speakers of Glaswegian English with knowledge of vocabulary, accent nuances to meet interpreting needs of clients…English speaking clients that is…

The fact is in Glasgow some bus drivers new to the city have to take Glaswegian lessons…

To understand the following:

‘Gie us an aw day tae the toon’ (Give me an all day ticket to the town).”

4:         Jamie Oliver’s Knitting Kits…From the guy who bought you 15 Restaurant…made up of unemployed youths he trained as chefs… well now there’s Fifteen Knitting Kit…


Here’s how it works…

Restaurant Fifteen breeds sheep to supply their meat …sheep have wool – budda bing etc.

The wool is even spun and dyed by an outfit called the Natural Fibre Company- into brown, pink, grey and purple – and all profits go to the Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen Foundation…

And chatting about this someone said…you have to buy the Jamie Oliver knives…the little happy chappy is clever…

oh…and then there’s the Jamie Oliver I-phone App which is supposed to be brill…recipes with videos etc…starting to get a bit too big for his boots…nah, just joshing!

3. Low five alert: Family Guy …one of the most anarchic comedies on tv. It’s The Simpson’s for grown- ups with utterly puerile minds…as well as stoners and high school dweebs.

HOWEVER we could be looking at sellout of the century. Microsoft has just purchased
a serious gazillion dollar piece of real estate on Family Guy to  feature Windows 7 product placement!! No!!!
Warning weak Family Guy clip follows…

“They worship the ground he doesn’t walk on!” (Old Family Guy humor …. Peter talking about the guy in the wheelchair)

By the way…if you haven’t heard of Windows7 yet…you will. CLICK HERE to bone up on Windows vs Mac latest.

2.   Shoeshine Man – We were off to Warehouse Stationery in St Lukes…

shoe man

And this African American dude in a dark suit with white slip-ons started talking to me…

He works outside Mr Barber in 39 Albert St and in odd little places like between dick smith and warehouse stationery in St Lukes hawking beewax shoe polish and talking up a storm…

He cleans your shoes for free coz he’s selling pottles of beeswax mixed with jojoba – it’s made in St Heliers using honey from Taihape.

Cleans “shoes, your furniture, your boat, your car. It will help your psoriasis, eczema and cracked heels. You can even use it to put twirly bits in your hair.

1.  50o days of Summer – just go…and we’re not going to wreck it for anyone…just go …just go, just go…

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